If your wife does say yes to delve into the unknown, she still might have reservations or concerns about it. Because I have, and I want to talk with you about it. But, said Rava, it excludes the case where he warned her against contact of the bodies. Talk about things like: Trying to make her change her mind or berating her for not being willing to accommodate your desires is likely to do significantly more harm than good, and can even turn your relationship into a train wreck. Reassure her that this time would be different, and — this is important! Men who feel that they will be shamed for their kinks and curiosities are not as likely to open up with their wives about them. Both of your feelings and desires matter here, and nobody should feel that theirs are being neglected.
A different Babylonian sage, Rava, suggested that the Scriptures meant to exclude a husband who suspects his wife of nude bodily contact with another man, with no penetration at all. Rav Sheshet suggests that the Scriptures meant to exclude a case in which the husband suspects the woman had anal intercourse with another man. But, said Abaye, it excludes the case where he warned her against external contact. If she's open to trying, be sure to start with lots of foreplay, doing all the things that normally get her excited. This experience is as much about your wife as it is about you. Down the line, you might feel inclined to bring the subject up again, and that is fine. When it's time to enter, use lots of lube. It is required for this teaching: The "receiving end" must be relaxed. Unfortunately, these unfounded taboos make being ourselves and exploring our sexuality to its fullest quite difficult. Be detailed about what you would like to try. Fortunately, there are many online resources like our website available to help guide you and your partner through this new adventure with both safety and sexiness. What sparked your curiosity, if you can pinpoint the reason? By Athena Dear Athena, I want to get my wife to do anal with me, but she's not into it. Abaye said to him, That is merely an obscene act, and did the All-Merciful prohibit [a wife to her husband] for an obscene act? All sex acts-anal or otherwise-are performed at their best between consenting partners who are sincerely into it. If your wife has never expressed any interest in this sort of thing before, then trying to spring the conversation up on her during sex or foreplay could be a tremendous turn-off. If your wife does say yes to delve into the unknown, she still might have reservations or concerns about it. Even though you have likely already talked a great deal, there are still some points that you should address with your wife before proceeding, like: They might be worried about accidentally injuring you or causing you undesired pain. The Talmudic Sages try, each in his own way, to explain why the Scriptures used the word carnally. Men who feel that they will be shamed for their kinks and curiosities are not as likely to open up with their wives about them. Do what you can to make her feel comfortable and not pressured. In such a case, according to Abaye, when a husband suspects his wife of external but not full penetrative sexual intercourse, there is no need to investigate the suspicion. If so, it's not unwarranted. Maybe she's squeamish about cleanliness or worried it will hurt.
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